Why Didn't I Tell Him?
by motown lady
Summary: When Lee is rushed to the hospital from Dulles after a case with serious injuries, Amanda keeps vigil recalling a previous time she thought she had lost him. A one shot highlighting "The Eyes Have It" and "Remembrance Of Things Past".


Why Didn't I Tell Him

Chapter 1

As the Parker General Hospital team was rushing Lee Stetson into the Emergency area that morning his partner Amanda King was hurrying along with them holding his hand thinking, Why now, God? He has to be all right...He just has to be!

She was so consumed with her thoughts that the attending nurse had to keep repeating to Amanda, "You have to let go, Ma'am. You have to let go!"

With reluctance she let go of Lee's hand and watched as they took Lee back to the room where only hospital personnel could enter with patients.

With a heavy sigh Amanda went over to the waiting lounge and sitting on the sofa swallowed thinking about the last time she was this frightened...

It occurred three months after she met Lee.

She had been told of his death and attended the funeral the Agency held for him.

His funeral? It seemed incomprehensible to her that he was actually gone from her life after only knowing him a short period of time.

But "knowing" him was such a broad term.

What had she really known about him?

That he was a good agent.

A bit smug perhaps, but appeared to enjoy the finer things in life.

He had good taste in food and wine along with music judging by his vast record collection, The Rolling Stones being his favorite group.

He also collected rare tropical fish whom he addressed to as his"Men."

Being raised by his uncle a military man, may have had something to do with that reference.

He didn't share too much of his past with her but she had been hoping to someday learn more about him.

The day after the funeral Amanda's mother Dotty West and her sons Phillip and Jamie King, were taking a trip that weekend.

As Amanda had brought into the room a tall withering plant and placed it down in front of her and sat on the end of the couch Dotty stated, "_I'm taking your travel book of Williamsburg, all right?"_

Amanda sighed dejectedly and shrugged answering, "_Whatever."_

Dotty noticed her concentration and asked,"_Why are you staring at that ficus?"_

Amanda replied sadly,"_Oh...I just don't have what it takes. I mean, to water plants and walk dogs."_

Dotty looked at her daughter warily questioned her, "_What does it take?"_

Amanda gulped responding with a hand gesture to the plant, "You_ have to be professional in this work and what I do is get attached to a plant and then when it's gone, I feel like I've lost a friend."_

Dotty concerned at this point asked finally, "_Honey? Are you all right? Do you want somebody to talk to? The boys and I can cancel our trip-"_

But Amanda clearing her throat quickly answered with a wave of her hand, "_No. Um, I think I really just need to be alone. You just go onto Williamsburg and have fun and take lots of pictures."_

Suddenly there was a sound of a car horn and Amanda was kissing all of them goodbye and she was alone once more in the family room.

She began feeling sad again and remarked aloud with a sob, _"The hardest part about this work is the feelings. Lee said to not get involved. He was right about that."_

Then a voice answered,"_Well I never thought I'd live to hear you say that."_

Startled, she turned slowly to where the voice came from and saw Lee in the flesh coming through her French doors into her family room from outside!

He commented slowly, "_Actually, I didn't live to hear it. Not officially, of course."_

She had been overjoyed at the sight of him and as they hugged she then turned angry at being lied to about it!

Lee apologized then explained that Russell Sinclair almost did kill him so he thought in order to nail Sinclair once and for all, Lee would have to fake his own death and told her that she and Billy were the only ones in on the plan.

But three and a half years later here was Amanda at Parker General, waiting for word about Lee, whose condition was serious. There was no setup here!

The doctor then informed her along with Billy and Francine, that Lee suffered a head injury along with knife lacerations and was still unconscious at that point.

He said he would contact them if there was any change so they should just go.

When the doctor left them Billy then tried to get Amanda to go home but she refused stating, "No, I think I'm going to stay."

Billy knew it was pointless to argue with her so he said he'd let her family know where she'd be and left.

The doctor allowed a worried Amanda to rest on the couch in Lee's room that night and as she laid down she prayed silently and thought,

Why didn't I tell him sooner how I felt?

What if I don't get another chance?

How will I go on without him?

The End


End file.
